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February 25, 2016

THE ROAD TO CONFIDENCE

FILED IN: Personal

Fredericksburg Boudoir Photos

When I was 15, I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I gained 45lbs in a short 2 months. At first, I had no idea what in the world was going on. I was very active and ate pretty normal. I was confused as to what was happening to me when I stepped on the scale and it read 179lbs. Then, the diagnosis hit me and BAM. I thought to myself, “Alright, if I diet and workout it’ll come right off.” WRONG! No matter how much I worked out or dieted the weight just wasn’t coming off. So I accepted it, but when I looked in the mirror everyday, it was nothing but shame.

Let’s fast forward to the time I started Volunteering at the firehouse and went to the recruit academy (firefighter class) in 2009. I was 17 when I first started and throughout the 6 month program I noticed a difference. The recruit academy was TOUGH! I slowly started noticing my weight dropping and I was so relieved! But, I still wasn’t happy with how I looked and felt.

Okay, let’s go to 2013-NOW. Before photography became a career for me which I am so blessed for, I was working for a private ambulance transport company, working 24 hour shifts every 4 days. For a year, I didn’t mind working those long hours, making the commute to and from work, basically being unhealthy as far as diet goes or exhaustion. I didn’t mind it because working there at one point was actually fun! Well, the unhealthy route turned into a very scary route for me. Between the huge work load, trying to build my business, and a very unhealthy relationship I was in…I became exhausted with life. I lost all of that weight that was part of me in the worst way possible. The stress alone took over my life. My sleep schedule was messed up, I didn’t even have energy to eat some days, the constant daily arguing with the man I fought so hard for, I was a flat out train wreck. The next thing I know, I stepped on the scale and I was 118lbs. I immediately looked in the mirror with tears in my eyes because who I was looking at in the mirror WAS NOT ME! I was this tiny, sick looking, vulnerable person. Depression kicked in full throttle and I knew I had to change.

A few months later, I became my own full time boss! That alone, helped SIGNIFICANTLY with my stress! But, that didn’t help with my physical appearance and how I still felt about myself. I’ve been holding this is in for so long, going back and forth whether I should let you all know what I did to help with my confidence. Something that I knew would change me for the better, FOREVER! Here it goes…

On November 20th, 2015, I had a breast augmentation done!!!!! For the 2 hours I was unconscious, my confidence went from 0 to 1,000! I woke up feeling like a kid on christmas. Not because I just had a nice set of silicone bags placed in my chest, but because I did this for myself and myself only. Let me tell you, this was one of the best decisions I have ever made because I feel like ME again. My cousin told me before surgery, “a new set of boobs means a whole new you!” she was totally right! I completely cut out all of the toxic things that were taking over my life, throwing them away and making a fresh start for me. Once I was healed and the doctor cleared me, I began doing p90x with one of my best friends. We’ve attempted the program several time, but never were able to finish it. This time was different…we told each other that no matter what, we are finishing it. Well, we are doing it! We are 4 weeks away from finishing the 90 day program! Woohoo!!!! So in celebration of all the positive + happy things that have happened to me in the past 3 months, I thought a boudoir session would be perfect for me. I contacted Debbie Ringle Photography about a session and we made it happen! We actually swapped sessions and I am so happy she did it with me!

I am not writing this blog post to tell you ladies that a breast augmentation is the way to build your self confidence because it is not. Confidence is a mixture of things combined into one word. I knew I had to change my attitude, outlook on life, and how I saw myself in the mirror + where I was heading. The breast augmentation was just the icing on the cake! :)

ENJOY some of my favorite images from the session!

View More: http://debbieringle.pass.us/courtney-morgan

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Photography | Debbie Ringle Photography

Makeup Artist | Tristin Sarvis

Plastic Surgeon | Dr. Christopher Hess with Hess Plastic Surgery in Fairfax, VA.

comments +

  1. AMANDA VERONEE

    February 25th, 2016 at 4:06 pm

    You go girl! So happy for you! Confidence and valuing yourself are HUGE in your outlook on the world. Congrats on making changes in your life to find your happiness!

  2. Brooke Michelle

    February 25th, 2016 at 4:07 pm

    Thank you for being so vunerable and opening up! I am sure this is going to help so many girls! You rock!

  3. Vannessa

    February 25th, 2016 at 4:12 pm

    This is a very inspiring piece. I also suffer from PCOS and since being diagnosed I have gain a lot of weight and can relate. You are an inspiriation and thank you for sharing. I wish you the best of luck with finishing the program! Also, your pictures are amazing.

  4. Wanda Aubrey

    February 25th, 2016 at 5:35 pm

    Beautiful! Very proud of you Courtney !!!

  5. Liz Day

    February 25th, 2016 at 7:32 pm

    I am glad you have finally gained confidence in who you are, and are seeing yourself the way I have always seen you. I have always thought that you were very pretty with stunning eyes! If getting the augmentation is what it took for you to start seeing yourself in a positive way, then I am glad you finally did it! Your story is wonderful, and one that will hopefully help and motivate others! If you are not happy on the inside, you will never be happy with yourself on the outside! Keep up the good work!! I am proud of you and the progress you have made….keep up the good work! I look forward to being able to read more in the future as you continue on in your journey! ????

    And…. your story was very well written!

  6. Emily selz

    February 26th, 2016 at 9:33 pm

    You look wonderful I’m so happy for you!!! You have always been beautiful!!! Don’t let that light go out

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