When I was 15, I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I gained 45lbs in a short 2 months. At first, I had no idea what in the world was going on. I was very active and ate pretty normal. I was confused as to what was happening to me when I stepped on the scale and it read 179lbs. Then, the diagnosis hit me and BAM. I thought to myself, “Alright, if I diet and workout it’ll come right off.” WRONG! No matter how much I worked out or dieted the weight just wasn’t coming off. So I accepted it, but when I looked in the mirror everyday, it was nothing but shame.
Let’s fast forward to the time I started Volunteering at the firehouse and went to the recruit academy (firefighter class) in 2009. I was 17 when I first started and throughout the 6 month program I noticed a difference. The recruit academy was TOUGH! I slowly started noticing my weight dropping and I was so relieved! But, I still wasn’t happy with how I looked and felt.
Okay, let’s go to 2013-NOW. Before photography became a career for me which I am so blessed for, I was working for a private ambulance transport company, working 24 hour shifts every 4 days. For a year, I didn’t mind working those long hours, making the commute to and from work, basically being unhealthy as far as diet goes or exhaustion. I didn’t mind it because working there at one point was actually fun! Well, the unhealthy route turned into a very scary route for me. Between the huge work load, trying to build my business, and a very unhealthy relationship I was in…I became exhausted with life. I lost all of that weight that was part of me in the worst way possible. The stress alone took over my life. My sleep schedule was messed up, I didn’t even have energy to eat some days, the constant daily arguing with the man I fought so hard for, I was a flat out train wreck. The next thing I know, I stepped on the scale and I was 118lbs. I immediately looked in the mirror with tears in my eyes because who I was looking at in the mirror WAS NOT ME! I was this tiny, sick looking, vulnerable person. Depression kicked in full throttle and I knew I had to change.
A few months later, I became my own full time boss! That alone, helped SIGNIFICANTLY with my stress! But, that didn’t help with my physical appearance and how I still felt about myself. I’ve been holding this is in for so long, going back and forth whether I should let you all know what I did to help with my confidence. Something that I knew would change me for the better, FOREVER! Here it goes…
On November 20th, 2015, I had a breast augmentation done!!!!! For the 2 hours I was unconscious, my confidence went from 0 to 1,000! I woke up feeling like a kid on christmas. Not because I just had a nice set of silicone bags placed in my chest, but because I did this for myself and myself only. Let me tell you, this was one of the best decisions I have ever made because I feel like ME again. My cousin told me before surgery, “a new set of boobs means a whole new you!” she was totally right! I completely cut out all of the toxic things that were taking over my life, throwing them away and making a fresh start for me. Once I was healed and the doctor cleared me, I began doing p90x with one of my best friends. We’ve attempted the program several time, but never were able to finish it. This time was different…we told each other that no matter what, we are finishing it. Well, we are doing it! We are 4 weeks away from finishing the 90 day program! Woohoo!!!! So in celebration of all the positive + happy things that have happened to me in the past 3 months, I thought a boudoir session would be perfect for me. I contacted Debbie Ringle Photography about a session and we made it happen! We actually swapped sessions and I am so happy she did it with me!
I am not writing this blog post to tell you ladies that a breast augmentation is the way to build your self confidence because it is not. Confidence is a mixture of things combined into one word. I knew I had to change my attitude, outlook on life, and how I saw myself in the mirror + where I was heading. The breast augmentation was just the icing on the cake! :)
ENJOY some of my favorite images from the session!
Photography | Debbie Ringle Photography
Makeup Artist | Tristin Sarvis
Plastic Surgeon | Dr. Christopher Hess with Hess Plastic Surgery in Fairfax, VA.